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Seeing the recent pictures of Renee Zellweger




Seriously.  Somebody apparently told her to get her eyes done, and now she just looks like a random person on the street, and not a woman you’ve seen in like 30 movies.   Her ‘scrunchy’ face, was her thing!  She was cute, and she’s still only like 45!  There’s NOTHING wrong with being 45!  Please, celebrities, stop slicing up your faces!   



I asked her what she felt most guilty about, and she said: “I can’t say it, because it will make me cry. And I don’t like people to see me cry.” I told her that was fine and changed the subject, but after a few minutes she typed it out on her phone, and handed it to me:

"When I was eleven years old, I got in a fight with my twin brother and told him that he was going to die before me because he had a brain tumor."

"Is he still alive?" I asked.

Was putting my suitcase in the back of the closet, and checked it one more time to make sure I’d emptied everything out from vacation last week.  I had not.  Found this, and literally yelled, “YES!  RING DING!” because I am perpetually, five.

I love America.  

This by the way, is the imagery that they “claim” is scaring the shit out of people. I can’t really see what the problem is :)



Clowns of America International, a real club for amateur and professional clowns, is speaking out against “American Horror Story: Freak Show” for perpetuating an evil clown stereotype.

"We do not support in any way, shape or form any medium that sensationalizes or adds to coulrophobia or ‘clown fear,’" said club president Glenn Kohlberger, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

I spent one week in Massachusetts, came back to Virginia, and my immune system has been revolting on me every since.  Whatever tolerance I’d built up over the years for the local flora, (and it was admittedly moderate because my allergies do suck on occasion) is gone.  Definitely allergies, not a cold.  Watery eyes, sinuses pounding, minor, yet irritating, off and on runny nose/sore throat.   All because I had the audacity to travel between regions.  It’s like my body is saying, ‘you pick a place to live bitch, and you STAY there!’

Went shopping today.  While buying shampoo, noticed that the industrial size bottles of hand sanitzers were all sold out at Sam’s Club, and then in Walmart, there was a crowd (an actual crowd of like 10 people) huddled around the hand sanitizer/anti-bacterial soap, shelves.  They were intently reading the ingredients on the bottles, while comparing notes.  They all seemed to be strangers to one another.  And I wanted SO badly to go over to them and say, “first, unless it mutates to an airborne virus, in which case we’ll have entered an extinction event and there’s no point in worrying about anything anymore, odds are pretty good that if you’re just going to be staying around the city for the next few months, you’re still more likely to get hit by lightning while buying a winning lottery ticket, than get ‘the ebola.’ And SECOND, taking the airborne scenario out of it, under NO circumstances, would the ninety-cent bottle of pomegranate scented Dial bathroom soap you’re holding, KEEP you from getting an infectious disease categorized by the CDC as a Level 4 biohazard.  And I feel like the fact that I need to tell you all this, is somewhat indicative that our species might actually be due, for an extinction event, because you people seem too stupid to live!”

On the plus side, I’m feeling pretty good about my families’ odds of surviving in a pandemic situation, given that we’d be clearing the shelves of bleach and chlorine (not to be used together!), and the rest of the Walmart shoppers would be on the other side of the store, stocking up on scented hand soaps. For real.

Yay genetics!

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